I wonder if everyone has a story like this. A story about a person who can came in and out of their lives at all different times, phases and always made a lasting impact. Do they know they made these impacts and how significant they were and are? I will be sharing this post with John so that I know for sure that he is aware of it. Because I think everyone deserves to know how significant and important they truly are.
The first time I met John was around 1993(ish). I was a new mom and Cassie’s dad had moved to Indiana. My cousin Michelle introduced us. We met at the 49th Street Galleria. John was not like anyone else I had ever met. He was sweet, kind and when he talked to you it was as though you were the only person in the room. We became instant and lifelong friends from that point on. But John said something to me that I remember vividly to this day because it changed the course of my life in a positive way. We were talking about my relationship with Cassie’s dad and he said to me that I deserved so much better in life. It was from this conversation that gave me the courage to file for a divorce from Cassie’s dad.
Over the last 25 plus years I have ran into John. The first time I remember running into his was when I had decided to go to the bar completely by myself for the first time. It was my favorite bar and it was called Raskals (or possibly Club Habits at this point, the name changed several times throughout the years). I was standing by a railing watching all the drunk people out on the dance floor and thinking to myself “is that what I look like out there when I was drinking and dancing?” I was not drinking a lot that night because I drove myself there and needed to drive myself home. This lady came up to me and struck up a conversation. I was not sure where this conversation was heading until she told me she had this friend named John that she thought I should meet. She pointed over to the pool table where her husband and John were standing. I chuckled and told her I already knew John. Yes it was the John I met about 8-10 years prior. I walked over and talked to them for awhile. John and I reconnected and he came over to my apartment I think at least once and tried to convince me to go out on a date with him to a Jazz game. He even had talked his parents into watching my daughter so I could go. I ended up not going for some reason. I am not sure what happened but John and I once again drifted our separate ways. I probably was thinking like I usually did and didn’t believe I deserved a nice guy in my life at that time. I was drinking a lot and would not have made good relationship choices.
I ran into John again several years later. My friend Machelle and I were at the Hollywood Connections stopping by to say hello to a cop friend of ours who was doing security. I saw John walking across the parking lot towards the skating center. I called out and walked over to him to say hello. I was drinking a bit at that time and some how convinced him to come with us to the club that night. I drank a lot more at the club and he gave me a ride home. Once thing led to another and it turned out to be a pretty good night. I remember the details vividly. The necklace he was wearing and how once again when he talked to me and looked at me it was as though I was the only person in the room. Once again we drifted and went our separate ways. Probably the same reason as the prior time we met up.
The last time we ran into each other in person was at a Jazz game. In a crowd of several thousand people we saw each other across the room. He came over and sat next to me for a few minutes and we talked. I had just started trusting my life to Jesus and had stopped drinking. I knew getting into a relationship at that point would have not ended well.
A few years after that I was finally in a place in my life that I was ready to find a special person and settle down. John was the first person I called. I guess I had waited too long. He was in a serious relationship so I let that idea go. Still to this day I keep in contact with John. I send him a quick text to see how he is doing. Over the years he would text me back and tell me about how he had just lost his mom. A few years later he had lost his dad. So when I had lost my dad I texted him and asked for advice. He said to me that music was a comfort to him and helped him get through those sad days. Music has been and will always be a large part of my life as well.
To John: If you read this I hope you know how important you have been and will continue to be in my life. I wish you all the love, peace & happiness that a great man like you deserves. I will always love you for reminding me that I deserve all those things to.
Behind The Brown Door 