May 1st, 2018

I wish I could look back on this night and remember every single detail. But I cannot. Here is what I do remember. For a few nights, any time I was going to cook something for dinner, he would say he didn’t want that. He wanted something else. So we went to several of his favorite places. It was almost like he knew something was coming. I am glad that he was able to enjoy some of his favorites.

I went to bed not knowing what the next day would hold in store for us all. If I did I would have stayed up later and talked to him. I would have told him how much I loved him and how lucky I was to have him as my dad. I hope he knew all of this.

I wish I would have pushed for him to stay at the hospital for just a few more days. Would it have changed the outcome? I still have a lot of what if’s that I hold inside. Every day still feels like it was just yesterday.